I’ve learned over the past few years that I’ve spent the majority of my life misunderstanding joy. I thought it was happiness, elation, lightness, levity, or maybe some combination of all of those. But I’ve come to realize that it’s those moments, for me, when I feel connected to something greater or bigger than my own individual-ness.

Nature is my gateway to joy.

My maternal grandmother, or Gran, epitomized joy for me. She was also the one that introduced me to birds – specifically hummingbirds. She taught me what it was to delight in the flap of a wing, the colours on a neck, or the sound of what seemed to be a frustrated cardinal.

Over time, I lost that connection with nature. Long hours at work, lunches taken at desks, and workouts at indoor gyms, always managed to separate me from nature. I started bargaining with myself…

…once I get through this proposal, then I’ll go for a walk

…this weekend once I’m through the week, then I’ll swim in the lake

…next week, we’re going to the cottage, then I’ll be outside.

It became this constant state of joy-in-waiting.

Joy-in-waiting

I wrote a piece about this idea of Joy-in-waiting that was published in the January Joy issue of Feels Zine (a wonderful independent publication about feelings). Contributors each read their pieces at the launch party, and I’m sharing the recording of my reading here…

What I’ve come to learn about joy is that it is accessible in this very moment. We just need to create the space and presence to access it. And, for me, it also means continued work on my life-long addiction to productivity (which I wrote all about here: Imbalance is my comfort zone)

How do you find the space and presence to access joy? I’d love to hear in the comments below…

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